Monday, November 28, 2011

My Name

My name is Abigail, it means Joy or a Father's Joy in Hebrew. I shorten it to Abi. The reason why I spell it this way is because I needed to change it.

My parents named me, actually my mother named me. The nickname Abby came with it. Yes, I did spell it ABBY. I used to love the way it was spelt, I loved to spell it Abby double b and y, I loved how it looked with the double B and this loopy thing on the end that was a Y. The problem was... is... I'm no longer that little girl.

This is why I changed it. I attempted to change it around junior year of high  school. But I got so much crap from my friends about changing it. I hated what they were doing to me... Making me keep this name I hated just to please them. By senior year, I had completely changed it. The beginning of each new class I was in, a teacher would ask if we were known by a nick name, I said Abi, A-B-I. They said that was unique and they liked it, but I continued to get strange looks from my classmates. I didn't care anymore.

The reason why I changed it was because I was no longer a little girl. I had grown and made mistakes... I finally adapted my name on Facebook, the biggest place where everyone would see. I loved the way it looked, unique and my way. I loved how I was now this new person... I didn't want to continue to be that fucked up Abby girl who everyone judged and cared what they thought. I didn't want to be that girl who wore long sleeves because she didn't want anyone to see the scares that ran up and down her arms. I didn't want to be Abby anymore.. I was a new person, and I had a new name.

I am now Abi, no matter what my computer says about my name being misspelt. I love my name, because it is an essence of me.

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