Confliction

You have no idea how conflicted I am,
with the feelings of myself,
you have no idea how upset with myself
that I let this happen.
Nothing feels right... Not anymore
I have no idea what to do next.
I like one, I like the other.
But where do I go?
Where do I go?
No one can answer the question for me.
But answering it could lead to something great...
Or something horrible...
But is it worth it to try?
Is it worth it?

Someone made me happy

Someone made my day by telling me they love me
I've been super bipolar lately and snapping at everyone and everything.
this person calmed me down so I'm happy again. 
that is the hardest thing to do in the history of the wold. 
<3

Wear purple

I am so insulted by the way some people are reacting to the wearing purple to honor those who died on the 20th. 
People insult those part of the glbt community, and insult those who are allies. 
It hurts to know, that after these people committed suicide because of harassment, people are still harassing. Learn to love, please. That is all I ask.

Could You Ever Love Me?

Could you ever love me?
Do you think you could try?
Would you hold me tight
when all I do is cry?
Sometimes all I need
is to now you are near.
To know a hug is close
when all I see is fear.
Please know I want to trust you.
Please know that I do care
I just want to make sure
that you think it's fair.

"That's So Gay"

That's so gay.
That's sooo gay.
That's so gayyyy.


Why do people say this?
unless they mean
that's so happy
they shouldn't say it
It hurts me
I cry inside
I can't stop shaking
I blink back tears


Today is National Coming Out Day
and yet, they hurt me
by saying those three words.


That's so gay.


I wish I had the courage to tell them to stop.
I wish I had the courage to speak up.

:) :) :)

my boyfriend just found my blog. he's insulted by the fact i called him an idiot. but you know what? he is.
:) me saying that doesn't change the way he thinks about me, and i am so happy about that.
he makes me happy. and every time i think about him i smile.
before he left this weekend to go home to minnesota, he gave me his sweatshirt. I told him i was afraid if i wore it too much the sent of him would go away. in response he left me his ax spray. <3
he is so sweet. 
sean, i know you will read this sooner or later, i just wanted to let you know that i <3 you and you make me happy.
thats why your mine. :)

:D

hmmm, great one month weekend with my mannnnnn. <3 
:)
i feel sad that he left, and even sadder that we live 246.25 miles away from one another. but I know this will work.