never forever

you didnt really move on
you just chose to take it safe
and go where you know
go with who you know.
you have had one all your life,
i have had at least 12.
you have stayed in love.
i have stayed in lust.
i want someone like you have.
i want a person i can hold
and know i will be in their arms forever.

i had one, that i thought would be it
but he wasn't
he was like the others.
he lied,
and forgot who i was
he lied
and forgot what i was to him.
no one loves me
and no one ever could.
not forever.
for the moment,
yes people love me
but never forever.
</3

just us.

i dont want to see you with him
he hurts me
he hurts me when i see him with you
all because i want to be with you.
i want to be with you
i dont want to see you with him.
it hurts me.
you lied to me and said you would understand
but you dont understand
you will NEVER understand.
why do you think i asked you?
why do you think i asked you out of everyone i know to come with me?
because i wanted you and i to have time
together.
we never see each other
and you always see
him.
i wanted time for just..
us..

I hate liers

people say they care
people say they love
but in the end
all i can say
is most people lie.
you lied to me
you say you will be mine
even if just for a few days
you said your other half wouldn't distract you
that you would be mine,
even if for a little while.
you lied
you lied.
you lied.
and i hate liers.
but i cant hate you.
i hate liers,
but i cant hate you...

thoughts

the more i think about it, the more i think that i spend much to much time on a few certain websites. one of which is sixbillionsecrets.com
it is here that i always submit secrets that i feel someone much understand what i am going through and vote yes to this one. they must see how important it is for me to have someone know. but none of my secrets are ever posted. every time i go to the site, i feel anticipation, then downfall, then fear. Fear that maybe no one cares.
thats how i feel when i go there. and then my downfall and hurt continue after i leave. after i submitted another secret. knowing that there is hardly any chance that this one will be selected and posted. this ritual i do every day really kills my self-esteme. but i don't know what else to do.

Sighs

*sigh*
not even a word
yet it could mean so much.
*sigh*
tired
*sigh*
annoyed
*sigh*
upset
*sigh*
mad
*sigh*
hut
*sigh*
*sigh*
*sigh*
What could be done to prevent a *sigh*
what could be done to keep me from committing a *sigh* ever again?