I Don't Want to Remember

I became that person I swore I would never be. I become that person who wants Saturday to come so I can see what party is available for me to lose myself in. I don't know how I became this person. I suppose I was tired of sitting out and wanted to be with my friends instead of on my own. I want to go back to the time before I hurt myself because my clumsiness grew. I want to go back to the person I was. I have never cheated on my significant other, and I never will. I don't really recall what the hell happened that night, nor the next. But I do remember people touching me, and me wanting to get out of there. I remember I scared a friend so much because she could not find me. I remember that I didn't want to remember. I don't want to remember.
Boys fight, men compromise and accept defeat. I remember we were dancing and talking, I remember another guy asking who I wanted to dance with. I didn't reply, I just fell over. I was vulnerable and they BOTH took advantage of that. Acting like they are helping me up, when in reality they were touching me. I shoved at their hands, but I slipped on the sticky floor and into one of them. They other said are you sure, you don't know what you re missing. He asked the first guy if I was his girl, he replied Yeah, for the night, ahhhhh! *high five* As if I could not hear them. I have never felt so used.
Nothing happened more than that. They grabbed me, they tried to kiss me, I didn't want them too. They touched me. I didn't want them to. I don't want to remember if they succeeded at all in what they wanted. I know they did not, my friends may not have protected me from everything, but I know she and he protected me from the worst possible outcome. For that I am grateful.
I love my girlfriend. I would never cheat on her. This is a promise I can keep, and I will keep it. If you are reading this, know I didn't want any of this. I was safe with my friends, and I was stupid for taking more than I could handle. I ask forgiveness for my stupidity. I will never let anyone take me from you, because I love you so much. No matter what they do, how they try to do it, or if they think it's OK because I won't remember it all, I will never let anything happen. I save myself for the one person who I KNOW loves me. I love you. This is something that I will always remember, and I love to remember it.