Belonging

Sometimes I feel as though, even though I have so much in common with a group of people, I can't help but be the outsider. Take this program I am in, we are all in the STEM fields, we are all of color, and we are all taking the same classes. With all of these things, I still can't help but feel as though I don't really belong. I was gone this past weekend for my Girl Scout Gold Award, and I don't think anyone noticed that I was gone. This is extremely difficult to do in a group of only 21 students. In a group that small, everyone knows everyone. How could no one not notice I was gone? I walked into my own apartment, and there were at least 5 people there including my roommate, they all looked surprised that I walked in. HELLOOOOOO! It's my room, I would think that they would notice that I was not in my own room. But what ever.
I don't really feel like I belong here, I don't have many people that I talk to constantly, I just do my homework and I keep my nose in the books. What else is there to do? Talk to people? I feel as though everyone just rolls their eyes and doesn't give a sh!t about what I have to say. I work better when I am alone or in a very small group. Anything more than 2 other people I just don't know what to do. Perhaps this is because I try to please everyone, and when the number of people goes up, the harder it is to please them all. So then I just shut down.

Well, those are my thoughts. Please don't judge.