Not Until I Know

I wont text
not until I know
because I dont know what to do..
you still work nights,
and I dont know what you are doing..
I dont know if you even want to talk to me still
and I don't know if I did something wrong.
Because I know if this ended up not working out,
it would be on me.
I know it would.
Don't try to tell me otherwise,
because I know it to be true.
I know I love you
and I know I would do anything
to make you happy,
even if that means to leave.
<3 ?

I'm Tired

I'm tired.
I'm tired of not knowing
not knowing if you still love me.
Not knowing what I did wrong...
IF I did something wrong.
I'm tired
I'm tired of being scared
scared of losing you
scared of my confusion
and scared if you got my letter.
I'm Tired
I'm tired of being far away
far away from knowing
far away from hugging
and far away from you.

Home Sweet Shit.

I live in Madison. I vacation to Minnesota. It used to be I said it the other way around, but then I realized something... Most every person I thought I loved and who would never leave, left when I did. I never left my spirit anywhere except when I left to school. But now? Now I realized its not good to leave a part of your life behind, you need to keep life with you. I leave my love for Minnesota behind now. I am a Sconni, a Badger, and someone who if you really give a shit about, you would tell me when something major happens in your life the way I did for you. The way I always did for you. But now? Now I just don't know what the fuck to think anymore. I hope you have a better person to be your best friend, because apparently I was not good enough. I am NEVER good enough.





Some of you are probably wondering why that picture is on this blogg. The reason is because apparently this is where I belong, it's what people see me as. Shit.

What did I do?

I've lost love before
but not like this.
I don't know what I did.
Please,
tell me if there is something
I can do,
to show you I can be better.
I love you so much,
and honestly,
I have never
NEVER,
loved anyone the way I love you..
Please tell me,
what did I do?

I Will Let Go.

I feel like you stopped caring.
You stopped replying.
You no longer say you love me
no longer tell me anything...
so much has changed,
the way you act around me
that is if you see me at all
the way you text me
it seems so formal
the way you are...
Was I a stepping stone?
Someone you used to
become true to yourself?
I never used you.
I never lied to you.
I still love you.
I would do anything...
Even if that means saying
goodbye.
If that means you would be happy
I would
if it means anything
I just want you to be happy.
I just want you to be happy.
I love you so much,
so I will let go.
I will let go...
If you want that.